Being honest, I sat yesterday in our weekly Sunday service with a critical eye. I was going to see if 'they' could move me...whoever 'they' were. The service began normally. I had "seen it before, heard it before, and gone through that motion before." As we progressed through the service, I found myself trying to focus on what was happening. However, I kept thinking about me doing what I was doing. Nothing was moving me at all. I couldn't wait to tell how 'they' didn't move me in worship. Time for the invitation song.
"Lay Your Burdens Down..." the song begins. As I stood to let people respond (obviously not me, so I thought) to the message the thought occurred to me, "Why is this the song of invitation? It is such a great song!" I stood anyway, closed my eyes, sang, and was overwhelmed.
This song moved me! Rather, God used this song to move me. Seriously...I was shaking at the end of it. I was even trying to stop shaking because I didn't want to be moved. I wanted to prove my point that nothing in the service could move me. Then I could wallow in my own self-absorption of empty worship. That didn't happen. I was moved. It was God. I couldn't help it!
Reflecting on this over the last day, I have learned how much I need to grow! Why am I coming to worship trying to prove that I can't be moved? I should be seeking the very thing I was avoiding yesterday: God's presence. Yet, amazingly enough, God was gracious enough to allow a song to usher his presence into my life. How many times does God use songs to move me in worship? Too many.
Thank you, God, for being so gracious. Thank you for your patience with me. I need to grow so much. Let me continue to be aware of your presence in my life. May your praise be on my lips throughout the day. Keep me from the cynicism I experienced yesterday...all for your glory. You are the one I need. Let me seek you alone.
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