Silence involves not filling my time with so many different voices, with noise. Silence means being alone with God. Silence doesn't exist in a computer or in TV or in the radio. I recognized this about noon yesterday when I realized that I hadn't really been silent all morning; I had merely spent the morning on the computer without speaking, something I do fairly regularly.
Lunch is where I began to sit in silence, a hard task when I am accustomed to at least some TV speaking to me as I eat. After lunch Chica and I went outside to enjoy the afternoon. This was good silent time, but it ended after about an hour and a half. Coming back in I felt compelled to watch TV just for a little bit. Famous last words, right? I wrongly reasoned, "Well, I guess I am not speaking during this time, so I'm still being silent." I saw right through my hypocrisy, and I just gave in. It was too much of a weight to bear for such a long time.
I am dissappointed in myself, but I will try again. May God give me the strength to persevere.
No comments:
Post a Comment