Spiritual Discernment

"As I become aware of your presence this morning, Lord,

may I promptly respond to your movements with complete trust.

Losing my natural inhibitions that may keep me stagnant in kingdom service,

may your Spirit compel my heart forward with immediacy and sensitivity.

When I am confronted today with a situation needing prompt action,

teach me how to discern well the difference between

my own sound judgment and your own providential desire.

Lead me in the way, Lord. Amen!"

Frank Laubach

I am trying a new experiment that I borrowed from Frank Laubach. He worked among the Moros on one of the Philippine islands. He journals about his experiment. On January 20, 1930 he said, "Two years ago a profound dissatisfaction led me to begin trying to line up my actions with the will of God about every fifteen minutes or every half hour." He talks about seeking to respond to God as a violin responds to the bow of the master.

I must admit my intrigue. His conversation with God and desire to respond to God's will is impressive. It reminds me of Christ's passion. As I read through his journey, I am overcome with his honesty in his failure and his humility in his success.

As a part of this experiment, Frank commits himself to intercessory prayer for the Moros. He notices through this intense focus on others that people seem to treat him differently. This sentence is just as interesting to me: "I feel, I feel like one who has had his violin out of tune with the orchestra and at last is in harmony with the music of the universe." Wow!

I could go on and on (perhaps I will later), but I have begun this little experiment of Frank Laubach's. I'm not exactly sure yet what it looks like to align my will with God's, but I do know that my thoughts are more filled with God than normal. This scares me, but I also feel Satan waiting patiently to test this experiment with all his might! My prayer is that I walk through this instead of run with a full head of steam. May God be praised and may his strength work mightily!!

God does what God does

Last Thursday I had a conversation that I have never had before (by choice) and will never have again (again by choice). The conversation was with Daniel, our intern. We had both talked with a student in our ministry, L, earlier that afternoon. She was wondering why things don't go easy for her and was asking for us to pray for her being able to get into a class to graduate on time. Both of us prayed for her.

Daniel mentioned in our conversation that he couldn't help but think about how easy things go for him most of the time. In his transition to another school housing, acceptance, transferring credits, and other little things just took care of themselves without much effort. I anticipate more of the same. As Daniel and I talked, I actually told him something I think fairly regular...I just don't ever say it. I told Daniel that I am not surprised things are going well for him. His life compared to L's is much more focused on God, much more in pursuit of godly endeavors, etc. Of course God is going to make things more easy for him.

Our conversation was much more complex than this. I told him my hesitancy to ever say something like this. I always think of the life of Job in situations like this. That keeps my mouth shut...as it should. Then I began to explore being able to discern God's will. With equal hesitancy I always balk in presuming to know his will for sure. I told Daniel that I think we need to allow the Holy Spirit guide us in times like this. We can know God's will through his Spirit...it just takes a listening heart. And on the conversation went...meddling in the activity of saying how God works in people's lives.

On my way home I picked up some Chili's. It was good. By the end of my meal however, I was having some major indigestion. Then the thought occurred to me that this was the same feeling I had with my kidney stones a while back. I began downing water like a madman.

The rest of the evening was spent in my room, mainly in the bathroom. I threw up my whole meal and more. Four hours of horrible-ness!! I couldn't keep even the water that I continued to drink down. And the pain continued to get worse. Only once I prayed to the Lord to take away my pain (toward the end). I don't know why I didn't cry out to him earlier.

Right before I prayed a dreadful thought occurred to me. I am convinced that the thought (voice?) was from the Lord. The thought was, "Do not presume to know how I work." As I prayed, I asked for relief so that God could be glorified. That is what I am doing now. I am telling you that I believe God caused my pain (in Job-like fashion) to humble my prideful presumptions.

I warn you: do not presume to know how and why God works in people's lives. Let us, however, be the ones God uses to accomplish his will.

Two Lives

A prayer for two lives:

Lord, I pray that you give me wisdom to understand how detestable leading two lives is in your sight. How can we think you don't see us? How can we say within us, "The Lord does not see; the God of Jacob pays no heed" (Psa 94:7)? Why do we think, "I am the exception to 'No one can serve two masters' (Matt 6:24)"? When are we going to realize that our actions are neither hot nor cold, but only lukewarm (Rev 3:15-16)?

Help me, Lord, to make the choice to begin right now leading one life completely dedicated to you, one life consumed with your will, one life that has shed the misdeeds of darkness. It is through Jesus that you have made this possible, this choice to have life that is truly life right now. In Christ Jesus I offer this prayer to you. Amen.

Romans 8:28

In an effort to understand the ways of God, one is inevitably forced toward Romans 8:28. I hear this passage quite often being offered as a word of consolation to the those who are in pain, either from the death of a loved one or some physical ailment or sickness.

We need to be careful at how we speak for God in these sensitive times in people's lives. We mean to help when we say, "God will work this for good; just wait and you will see." I wonder what statements like that really mean. Will God really work this out for the good of the one to whom I am speaking? How can I be so sure? When can I finally say, "Okay, now that was good!" and be at peace with it? Did this happen to Job? Was what happened good? Dare I even speak in God's behalf in any situation? I am nervous about doing this.

Consider how the NIV translates this verse: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." What is the difference between "in all things God works" (NIV) and "all things work together" (KJV)? [By the way, both are legitimate translations because the subject could be the implied 'he' meaning God or 'all things'; likewise, 'all things' could be the subject or the object of the sentence. You have to decide just like the translators of the NIV and KJV did for you.]

If God works "in all things," then it seems to follow that he takes the situations as they come and works good out of them. That necessarily implies that the situation itself is not deemed 'good' or even 'bad'; it is just the situation. If "all things work for good," then it seems to follow that one would have to say everything that happens is necessarily good, something I am not willing to comment upon (especially as if I know what is good from God's perspective). Just some food for thought.

What is God's Will For Me?

I ask myself this question more times than I care to admit. This is a tough question because I feel myself being pulled in so many different directions, especially at this point in my life. I just graduated. Kayla was born. We are looking for God's direction in the midst of everything.

Recently, we just made the decision to leave the Mission Miami team. We were asking this question. Does God want us to continue with the team? Does God want to use us somewhere else? The crazy thing about this is that we thought we wrestled with this last summer when we made the decision to get on the Mission Miami team! So now what is the deal, God?

It basically came down to closed doors. Everywhere we turned, we found closed doors. The deciding factor was the door of funding for our work. We couldn't even make our monthly rent payment! This forced both of us to try and work full-time to cover our expenses, train full-time to prepare for Miami, fundraise full-time to actually get to Miami, as well as be full-time parents. We felt this was too much for us to handle at this time in our lives. It seems like God was speaking here. Is this what Luke was talking about when he says, " [Paul and his companions] tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to." (Acts 16:7)?

Right now, we are asking this question again but in a different sense. Now that we are looking for ministry jobs, where do we go? Do we go to Vermont? California? Texas? Within Texas do we go to Grand Prairie? Huntsville? Wichita Falls? We are researching all these places to see how God can use our gifts most effectively. We will see how the hand of God works here, but probably only after the fact.

Conclusion: I believe the only way to be absolutely sure of the will of God is in the times that we are looking back at situations rather than in the situations themselves. In the meantime, we trust that He will guide our paths.