Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Closed Window to My Soul

Today I'm wearing sunglasses inside all day long! My right eye is having serious impetigo problems again. And rather than having someone pass out after looking at my really red, puffy right eye that I want to scratch out of socket, I decided to just wear these glasses.

It is weird for me, though! Especially when I'm talking with someone else. Normally, even if it is really sunny outside, I take off my glasses anytime I talk to someone. It is an attempt to be personal, to let someone "in" so-to-speak. "If they see my eyes," I think, "they will know that I'm putting myself out there to be vulnerable." If our eyes are the window to our soul, I want people to know who I am. So, I almost always take off my glasses when I'm talking to someone.

That said, today is difficult for me as I keep my glasses on all day! I've had several conversations. Even though they centered on why I had my glasses on inside, I could feel the emotional distance. I was looking right at people and could tell they were wondering where I was looking. They rarely looked directly at me and kept shifting their eyes around as we talked. I tried to give them an "out" by looking around at other things myself. It is hard!

And tonight will be even more difficult because I'm teaching our Wednesday night college Bible class. I've debated about what to do. Glasses? No glasses? An eye patch? Maybe a pirate's patch! That would an an interesting spark to our discussion.

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